2012 Molocratic Party Platform

2012 Molocratic Party Platform

End It All With DonJon 2012!

The History of the Molocratic Party

Bubbie John Daniel, Old South aristocrat turned 60s redneck-hippie and pharmaceutical enthusiast, founded the Molocratic Party. Espousing Molocratic governance, the Molocratic Party is America’s only multi-level-marketing political party. Party members are offered New World Order Distributorships that pay residual income on unlimited Patriot Down-lines up to thirteen Colonial Levels deep and can qualify for Brotherhood Recruiting Bonuses.

Bubbie John is no stranger to the nexus of radical politics and drugs. He can sniff out his next narcotized adventure like the old bloodhound on Tooth Acres, his Tennessee family estate.  He had taken the acid-test on the bus with the Merry Pranksters, passed out hits of Owsley’s LSD-25 at the intersection of Haight and Ashbury during the Summer of Love, taken the brown acid at Woodstock, smuggled the Orange Sunshine the Yippies used to spike the Chicago water supply during the 1968 Democratic Convention, and concocted the Windowpane Whiskey on the Festival Express.

When Bubbie John discovered DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy, had entered the Multiverse using the DreamMachine William S. Burroughs had posthumously left him, he was determined to make dreams his next adventure packed addiction. Bubbie John’s ploy was two fold. First, create a political Party to make rockzillions on America’s money saturated political process, and second, hoodwink DonJon into revealing the secrets to penetrating the Multiverse. With his years of dedicated drug use, a boat-load of political payola, and comfortably ensconced the Multiverse, Bubbie John was certain he would be immortally inaugurated into the pantheon of global power.

In the spring of 2007, Bubbie John approached DonJon about running for President in the 2008 election. He believed the American political environment of that year would prove fertile ground for his cracked conspiracy. He formed the Molocractic Party and announced the Draft DonJon 2008 campaign. He convinced DonJon to make his first formal political speech, known as DonJon’s Keynote Address, at the 2007 Bonnaroo Music Festival in Manchester, TN.

But Bubbie John could not convince DonJon to run in 2008 and aborted his efforts in favor of a 2012 run. After four years of dedicated political lobbying, personal favors, and mountains of graft, he has convinced DonJon to represent the Molocratic Party as their Presidential Nominee in their 2012 End-of-the-World Campaign.

Preamble to the End

In the history of American politics there has never been a political party as honest, transparent, and forthcoming as the Molocratic Party. Like America’s other major political parties, the Molocratic Party is fully committed to the American Exceptionalism that promotes mendacious self-aggrandizement, ruthless pursuit of vast personal wealth, and promotion of Human disregard for profit. We consider these the true American values that our Founding Fathers laid down as our yellow brick road to global control.

We, the members of the Molocratic Party, do not shy from these Great American Values. These are the values that have made American the strongest kick-ass-take-names-later nation in the World, the greatest gluttonous consumer of global resources, and the developers of the largest fantasy theme park on the Planet. We are committed to spending the balance of the End-Times in pursuit of these values.

Our candidate for President of the United States of America may or may not share these values, but we don’t give a shit, because he shares our vision of the future. A vision of the future we respectfully submit in our Single-Plank Molocratic Party Platform.

A Molocratic Vision for the Apocalyptic Future: December 21, 2012

The members of the Molocratic Party have, in a unanimous vote, approved the Single-Plank 2012 Molocratic Party Platform and present it to the American people as our statement of purpose.

Plank #1 - It’s the End-of-the-World, DonJon Knows It!

The Molocratic Party as represented by it’s members unanimously agree that December 21st in the year of our Lord 2012 is the End-of-the-World.

Based on this commitment to the End-Times, we intend to promote the exceptional American values outlined in the preamble of this platform. We support the continued gluttonous  consumption of dwindling planetary resources, abuse of Human rights for profit, and willing ignorance of truth until December 21, 2012 when the Molocratic Party and our candidate, DonJonVonavich, invite you to witness the end at:

DonJon’s

Worldwide

End-of-the-World

End It All With DonJon 2012!

Campaign Extravaganza

and

Molocratic Party

Party  

Platform Addendum #1 - Acknowledgement of The Left-Behind

Although the party has declined inclusion as a plank in our platform, The Molocratic Party acknowledges that a contingent of members believe there will be a Left-Behind after the coming End-Times.

Platform Addendum #2 - Acknowledgement of Plutocratic Destruction

The Molocratic Party acknowledges the destruction of a great American historical landmark, The Chelsea Hotel, by the Plutocracy. The Chetrit Group, developers to Satan, have undertaken this destruction in defiance of Art.

Platform Addendum #3 - The Emancipation of the Chelsea Hotel for the Left-Behind

The Molocratic Party acknowledges the position of DonJonVonavich, Molocratic Party Nominee for President 2012, on the Left-Behind and the destruction of The Chelsea Hotel as articulated in his statement,

“At the End-of-the-World we will emancipate the Chelsea Hotel

and designate it a safe-haven for the Left-Behind.”

About Our End-of-the-World Candidate

Based upon a reading of the first episode of The KING of MO: An Autobiography of a Dream, The Molocratic Party acknowledges our candidates current state of three-dimensional existence and accepts the possibility that he may at any time pass back through a portal to the Multiverse without notice to the party or his constituents.

The information below was submitted by the candidate, DonJonVonavich, to the Molocratic Party members for the record. The Arm-Chairman, Bubbie John Daniel, has vetted the information and confirmed it’s authenticity.
DonJon Vonavich Curriculum Vitae Absurdum

Summary

That’s All Folks.

May the End-Times find you fat, drunk, and stupid,

Sincerely,

Bubbie John Daniel, Arm-Chairman

Roger Turgid, Representative (M-Hell)

Desert Vali, Representative (M-Calmer Heads)

Harry Martini, Representative (M-Last of the Bohemians)